Home again, home again, jiggety-jig

Put the LAX back in relax

Aloha, Maui

And who doesn't like hanging out in airports?

We had a great time. It was a classic Gabe&Heidi trip, which means we spent most of the time overcoming bizarre obstacles. The microwave never did get fixed, by the way. Poor Heidi spent the first half of the trip sick, although we never had to find an ER, so we've got the trip to Disneyland beat. It took her a few days to get into the swing of things; her not feeling well combined with the heat & humidity led to a fairly grumpy Mrs. Helman. She got better, though - she got used to the weather and started feeling better. A few days after we got here, she was sitting out on our porch, looking out at the water and watching the waves knock down little kids on the beach.

"Well," she sighed, more to herself than anyone else, "I finally saw turquoise water."

Aloha Maui. See you next time.

On the way home

All packed up and ready to go. So long, room.

Last night on Maui

But will it be an APA or MLA citation?

America's best beach 2006

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Saga of the rental car, part 5

Saga of the rental car, part 4

So there we are, driving the Ares Predator around like that's a good idea. A few days into the trip, we decide to drive into Kahilui for (something). Its dusk, and we get on the road heading inland. We're in Napili, technically, so this is a 30-45 minute drive, depending on traffic. As we get towards Lahaina, Heidi turns to me. (It's okay, go check Google Maps. I'll wait here.)

"What if we roll? This car doesn't have a roof."

Do you have some plans I don't know about? How about we just don't roll the car?

"Listen to the engine, though. I'm not sure I want to drive this at night."

The engine did sound like driving at 40 miles an hour in a straight line was asking too much.

Do you want to call the rental place tomorrow and see if we can trade it in?

"...Yes."

So, we turned around, and we did. They were very nice about how scuzzed up the car was, and swapped is straight across for an '07 Corolla. Much better.

Heidi named it "Bessie."

Stormy night on Maui

...and THAT was a long drive back

Heidi: "Jeeze, are we gonna have to speak Hovitos out here?"

You know what Hana has that the Hana highway doesn't?

An EDGE signal.

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None shall pass!

Make sure the concrete goes right up to the roots there

And here it is - Hana

You're letting me down, Maui

I don't think there's a single public bathroom anywhere on this frakkin' island.

On the road to Hana

Science is cool

Heidi's new purse spent the evening at the luau sitting in the sand on the beach. Check out the iron oxide on the magnetic clasp.

Luau!

We went to a luau last night. Called "the Feast at Lele", it had a rep
for being the best luau on Maui. Certainly, it was the best luau I've
ever been to.

There was a four course meal, each course being from one of the
cultures that contributed to Hawaii's. On between each course,
dancers came out and did traditional dances from that island.

Also - unlimited free drinks.

You've never seen Heidi more excited than watching a Samoan fire dance
after several cocktails.

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At least the eyes are open

"Take my picture in the Tiny Door!"

Her response after seeing the picture: "Wait - that door was taller than me? That's dumb."

See if you can spot Heidi

Also worth pointing out that there is exactly one tree in this picture.

The microwave I'd still out of action

The lady who owns the condo has a penchant for hi-tech gear. We hear from the housekeeper that when the dishwasher broke, they had to get someone out from Apple.

It turns out that grammar is not a requirement to be a good chef

This might be the best steak & eggs I've ever had. Also: ten bucks. What? Maui is crazy.

And all the English Majors in the audience just spit out their coffee

Today's words of wisdom from Heidi Ferrier Helman

"Dude, do NOT call out the Pacific Ocean."

And then we hopped the commuter flight to Japan

Liveblogging the Iao needle

Iao needle

Things I think are funny, part 2764

Why isn't there an iPhone optimized version of the apple website?

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Saga of the rental car, part 3

Driving the Ares Predator into Lahaina. Notice the sunshades by Wolverine.

We were on the park on Lahaina yesterday...

And a local offered to sell me some "Maui Zowie" - in sight of a police car. I guess I look as relaxed as I hope.

Just to keep it real

We woke up this morning to discover that our space age microwave doesn't seem to be working. Awesome?

So, this happened

Saga of the Rental Car, part 2

Our car is a White 2002 Mustang. Its clearly been around the block a few times - its pretty thrashed. Both bumpers are beat to hell, the doors have more dings than a high scoring pinball game, and there are at least two holes in the roof. It drives like somewhere, part of the engine is crying. As we drove it around, we tried to find a nickname that summed up both its current apperance as well as our guesses about its life so far.

Heidi's first suggestion was "Mus-stank," but somehow that didn't quite convey the fundamentally sketchy and vaguely law- breaking quality of the thing.

"It looks like of been on a Shadowrun," Heidi says.

So we named it the Ares Predator.

Up up down down left right breakfast

We're staying 200 feet from a restaurant famous for it's macadamia nut pancakes, and Heidi can't eat wheat. Solution: Heidi mailed herself some wheat-free bread mix and we made our own dang pancakes. As a final touch, Heidi hiked over to the Gazeebo restaurant yesterday to get some of their Macadamia nut spread/topping.

"Do you sell that whipped stuff?" she askes. The two ladies at the restaurant look at each other. "...Yes?" they say. "That'll be 78 cents." Heidi hands them a dollar, "Keep the change!"

"Have fun!" they say, grinning. About halfway through the second pancake, a look of shock collides with a look of dismay on Heidi's face. "oh my god," she says, "I don't think they thought I was going to put this on pancakes!"

Try to imagine the look on Heidi's face 5 seconds later

Turtles?

We just spent the last half hour watching sea turtles surf just off
the rocks behind where we're staying. Every now and then a head or
flipper pops up from out of the water, but mostly you just see these
dark shapes right under the surface, riding each wave in.

Screw software development, how do I do this for a living?

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Notice the golden light of heaven shining down

There are two things that Heidi looks for in her quest for the "Ultimate Spot." First, shade. Second, proximity to the final destination. That path to the right there leads directly to our front door. This is what she considers to be photo-worthy. (You should see the pods of our last trip to Disneyland.)

Great moments in breakfast

Takeout from the Gazeebo on the lanai. Condition Win! (Note the size of the to-go coffee.)

The saga of the rental car, part 1

Months back, Heidi says "what kind of car do you want rent on Maui?"
"I'm not sure," I said, "a... Car?"
"I just rented us a Mustang Convertable."
That'll do, I suppose.
Flash ahead to Monday. We've just spent what felt like seventy thousand hours crammed onto our teensy little United Airlines seats. (Side note: don't fly United.)
We arrive at the rental place. It's a little low rent. A single slightly dilapilated building squads on the edge of an under maintained smallish parkinglot crammed with cars of all descriptions, packed so tightly you could barely move beteen them.
After signing the paperwork presented to us by the extremely laid back young man behind the counter, we're taken to our new car.

This is entirely uncalled for, part two

Look at the sink on our condo's kitchen. I mean, LOOK AT IT.

This is entirely uncalled for

The microwave in our condo has a touch screen. WHAT???

I guess I'm drinking coffee again

Not so great moments in Maui

Turns out that sales tax in Hawaii is 4%, so if you double tax and
round up, you're actally undertipping. Bummer.

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Great moments in dinner

Mahimahi & chips.

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Flashback: Great moments from Maui, part four

Date: June 11, 2008 5:12:56 PM HST

Total hours on Maui before someone said, "Holy Moses, how much IS this
trip costing?" : 49.

-G

Flashback: Great moments from Maui, part three

Date: June 11, 2008 10:10:14 AM HST

Heidi just got so mad at our stove not cooling down fast enough that
she put a pot full of ice cubes on top of the burner in question.

-G

Flashback: Great moments from Maui, part two

Date: June 10, 2008 7:39:43 PM HST

Walking back to their room from the beach, Gabe & Heidi spy their back
door over a fence.

G: If we could jump good, we could just get right over this thing and
into our place.

H: But the back door is locked.

G: well... We could just throw our shoes at it til it breaks.

H: Yeah, 'cus F that deposit!  I can't think of any better way to
spend 700 bucks. What's up, Aerosmith?

Flashback: Great moments from Maui, part one

Date: June 10, 2008 12:41:50 PM HST

Last night I passed out so hard, Heidi had to check my breathing.

Not an exageration.

-Gabe

Great moments from Maui, part five

Great moments in Maui, part zero

To reduce further freind-spam, future updates have been moved to the
FOA blog.

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